Not Now, Not This Time

I remember when I was little, my mother would pinch the side of my little sauagey thighs when I acted silly, which was often. But sometimes she would only pull my ear as she mumbled something under her breathe. In those days such pinches were popularly known as tu namatanta. The sting of tu namatanta was as bad as that of utushinda beni. Those of you who visited the country side when school was out would know what I am referring to. Then the sting of utushinda beni on your dust covered butt would linger on for a while, reminding you not to sit on the bare ground while wearing short pants with holes in them.

That is the kind of pinch I would like to give Banda and Sata when they convince themselves that they could actually turn the plight of the Zambians into a joke. Banda speaks of obligations. What obligations? Why is it difficult for him to point out what those obligations are? What obligations does his administration have to the poor people of Zambia? Can he come up with a prioritized list of what constitutes obligations?

Never mind his incessant travels and repeated visits to places he has been before, he should try hard to explain how his trips are helping those "obligations."

But just in case Banda cannot remember what obligations the Zambian president has to the people of Zambia, I have highlighted one of the top priorities of his administration's obligations.

When he says irrational things like this, I feel like reaching out from here, ukushempo lupi ulwine lwine. Cilya awe cipense pense, afilwo kulilala, alatusaila fye nga katutwa kapusuka ku lupikiso, I would pull his ear and ..... well, you know, read on....

Sata is silly, says Rupiah
By Patson Chilemba
The Post Tue 05 Oct. 2010, 04:01

MICHAEL Sata is very silly, President Rupiah Banda charged yesterday.

Reacting to Patriotic Front president Sata’s comment that he was now soliciting for international trips in order to raise campaign funds, President Banda dispelled Sata’s assertions.

“But he Sata is very silly. I think it is the first time I have to call him that,” President Banda said shortly before his departure for Chipata at Lusaka City airport. “He hasn’t even phoned me to say sorry about my funeral, which I expect him to do. Traditionally, he should do that. He is a fellow leader and he is my cousin, he should do that. He just has to talk. It looks like he is one of the reporters for the particular newspaper because he has all the time to say something. So let him say whatever he wants to say.”

President Banda said he was recently in Nigeria and met that country’s President Goodluck Jonathan. He said he did not travel out of the country to solicit for campaign funds.

“I am a President. It is so disgraceful for me to solicit for funds. I cannot do that. I have my own country. My own industry is here and everything. I am very proud of you people and I carry your pride with me,” President Banda said. “If he does that himself, let him go ahead and do it, but mine is to attend to our obligations.”

President Banda said he had to attend to obligations, adding that Zambia was a member of the African Union, the Commonwealth, SADC and the United Nations.
He said he did not go for the recently held United Nations General Assembly.

“Last year I didn’t go. He pointing at Vice-President George Kunda went, he went isn’t it? Who went?” President Banda asked as Vice President Kunda responded: “I went to the Commonwealth.”

President Banda said this year, defence minister Dr Kalombo Mwansa was the one who went to the United Nations. He said other Presidents went there also.

“I didn’t go. He doesn’t talk about that because it suits him. He only talks when I go somewhere. Even just going for my funeral, I am sure he will say I am traveling again. But I hope he is human enough to understand that I am a President,” President Banda said. “I have to travel for funerals, for obligations, different obligations which concern all of us here. So I don’t bother much about him anymore. If he had that much power I wouldn’t be traveling by now. But I will continue to carry out my obligations as President as long as I think it is to the benefit of Zambians. I will do it.”

Sata last week observed that President Banda’s trips were fruitless because they had failed to materialise any tangible benefits for the nation. He said President Banda was now soliciting for foreign trips in order to source funds for the 2011 campaigns.

Asked to comment on information minister Ronnie Shikapwasha’s remark that doctors were influenced by opposition politicians to strike, President Banda said he had not read the article in question. He reiterated his earlier statement that the doctors were negotiating with Secretary to the Cabinet Dr Joshua Kanganja and Ministry of Health officials.

President Banda said he wanted to stay out of such matters until it was absolutely necessary.

Let's pause here for a second. When? When are such matters absolutely necessary for you to step in? Ba Banda, SUCH MATTERS ARE IN FACT YOUR OBLIGATION! And you are pushing your obligation to the back burner. 

Remember the Chansa Kabwela case? Ba Banda, you don't mess with people's healthcare. 

Not now. Not this time. 

Not Ever!

Health and safety of the Zambians is numero uno on the prioritized list of obligations of the President of the Republic of Zambia. It is in such matters that you step up to the plate and act presidential. And by the way, keep in mind that Sata is not president. You Are!.

“So what my colleague may have said, or is alleged to have said I have no comment on that,” he said.

On the problems in the PF-UPND pact, President Banda said he did not know about the wrangles in the pact, adding that the matter did not concern him or the MMD.

My final word to you ba Banda: You are carrying the weight of the nation on your shoulders. Everyone is counting on you to be rational in your thoughts and deeds. If you want to play with Sata in the Sand box, call him to the national house. There is a safe and secure backyard large enough for both of you. You can smack each other, slap each other upside the head, bump heads and ukuishina tu namatanta for all we care. But once you come out in public and have cameras and mics pointing at you, Zambians want to hear you show concern about the issues they are grappling with. Tell them what you are doing about their concerns and when help will reach them.

For consistently failing to enumerate and articulate your obligations, Mr.President, by the powers vested in me by my ancestors, I confer upon you the Irrational Thinker Of The Week award, entitling you to all rights and honors appertaining.