You Can Avoid The Proverbial Potholes

One feature that characterizes Zambian motorways is potholes. Driving a low base automobile like a Cooper, Corvette, Lamborghini, or Cadillac Eldorado on a Zambian road, never mind the exceptional engineering that went into those distinguishable names, would feel like taking a ride on an ox-drawn cart mukashila ka tondo. That may be why those who drive prestigious toys such as these confine themselves to inner city roads. And on occasion, like proud owners of any version of Ford Model-T, they would take a cruise on airport road. Former Minister Peter Magande once described this Zambia's premier highway, the stretch between international airport and town center, as evidence of development in Zambia. Can you believe that?! 

Something does happen between a campaign stump and when one is sworn to ministerial office. They put on a dunce and join the irrational thinkers' club.

But that is not what I am belly-aching about. It is nothing new considering that in post-independence Zambia, very few ministers have honestly earned their wages and perks. Most of them have been as worthless to the Zambian people as most potholed roads are. In fact some of them nauseating. If you don't believe me try this on for size. Approach one of them and ask them this question: "Minister Chiteni, pardon me please. I was wondering, er, say15 years from now, er, what evidence would there be that you were minister of this ya portfolio?" Now stand back and watch as empty-ness begins to unfold.

What I want to cast light on today are amaswau-studded potholes that belie the real estate transaction in Zambia. In our recorded past, Chiti, imfumu ya baBemba, sent imondo to his brother Nkole. Apo ninshi Chiti ba limusangule ntonko. Consider this to be imondo from me to you.

I am peeved by these leeches who call themselves lawyers and think that drawing a contract of sale which in effect only constitutes an offer and an acceptance, should pull in to them a couple of hundred Benjamins.  What is even more petrifying  is the incessant demand for money by these perverted low grade lawyers masquerading as real estate professional for doing absolutely nothing but waste your time and money. 

Umo shacela you would be the one to chase after them, in person, na pa lamya. These mailo-mailo people don't take their jobs seriously. They want to enjoy the title but they fail to live up to its expectations. You want to yank those stupid wigs off their potato heads and ....

Any way....you probably have heard calls from tutali na vifupi, to yina na voyonda to go back home and buy some land. You would be wise to heed the calls. Whatever reason they give you, I am here to tell you they are all real. However, when time comes to fork out the cash, proceed with caution. Remember, thieves will be navigating the purchasing terrain for you. You are likely to hit potholes if you let them do all the leading while iwe uli cete. Take to your heels especially when you run into somebody who upon meeting you begin by lacing their shtick with born again mantra. Iwe ati pamene apa napeza anthu a mulungu. Uza vina gule wa m'kulu, uza mbuwa! Whoever declared Zambia a Christian nation forgot to remind Zambians that the declaration was not be used as an ofoloshi to mask one's criminal mindedness.

So oo, I have prepared a quick cheatsheet for your reference. If the ownership transfer process does not fit this profile, know that your lawyer has thrown you under the bus or is about to:

[Real property is generally defined as land and the things permanently attached to the land. Things that are permanently attached to the land, also can be referred to as improvements, include homes, garages, and buildings. Substances that are beneath the land (such as gas, oil, minerals) are also considered permanently attached. I wish! Other items which can be attached to the land, such as sunka mulamu and tool sheds, are not considered to be real property.]

1.It starts when a seller accepts a contract you've put in on their home or land. 

     You might put down a deposit check to prove you’re serious about the offer. At that point, your settlement agent (often a lawyer, and also sometimes referred to as closing agent, escrow officer or escrow agent), gets the ball rolling, deposits any funds you’ve submitted into a special trust (escrow) account and puts in requests for title work, or an examination of the home's ownership history.

     Don't leave this part to your lawyer.  If this is not done properly, it is time to hire another lawyer.  If the one you fire asks for some form of payment, ask him for a contract and refer to the terms of that contract, in which you should have had the foresight to included that he or she will be paid upon delivery of a clean deed of title to you in your name; specifically on the closing day. Neglect this step at your own peril.

2.Lawyer begins reviewing the title. 

      Each property has a series of documents recorded at the Ministry of Lands or Civic Center (whichever is applicable) that reflect prior owners, lenders and other parties who have or had an interest in the home you’re buying. These documents are examined to identify all outstanding interests (liens).  Then, that paperwork is forwarded to you.  You want to be certain you are buying that property from a legitimate owner.  You want to review the documents and jot down questions about anything you don't understand.  You, must understand!   Once again, you neglect this step at your own loss.

      This is what you pay the lawyer for, not to draw the contract of sale, ati kwamana ndipe mali. Huh?!  The contract of sale is nothing but an offer/acceptance document. In any case you want this step completed in one week.  Should there be encumbrances,  walk the paperwork yourself if you have to.  If your lawyer speaks like he has a speck of sand in his eye, drop him.  Get another one! 

3.Mortgage issues are addressed. 

      Your lawyer works with your lender to verify kwacha figures and other important details of the transaction. In addition, if prior mortgages have to be paid, or if a loan is being assumed, that’s worked out by your lawyer as well.  But if I were you, I would want to examine the documents raise every minute inch of the way.

      This only applies when you are borrowing to purchase your property.  Please note that Zambian banks don't give low interest mortgages. That is why most people would rather save and build/purchase. Again, this is what you hire a lawyer to do for you.  If this section does not apply to you, lawyer fees should be considerably less (if you are lucky!)

4.The property is inspected. 

      In Zambia there are no professional inspectors. Even if they were there, you would be hard squeezed to find one that would be willing to earn their money.  This is one are your eye would be more dependable than that of pseudo professional. This applies to land surveyors.  After mid January 2011, I will provide names of surveyors that would do a great job for your time and money.  

      Most properties, especially settled subdivisions, in Zambia have annexes. Dishonest lawyers would not tell you the property next door is yours as well.  Instead they will fraudulently get it for themselves and sell it off. You want to witness the survey yourself.  Go to the site and walk the land. You will be glad you did.

      And one other thing, surveyed or not, make sure you have your own survey conducted.  Most Zambians have a tendency to build a few yards into other people's property, if not on the property, and claim ownership. You want to make sure you are getting your whole property.  Avoid the pothole.

5.The closing  statement is prepared. 

      Your lawyer prepares this document which shows all costs that will be paid at your closing. Besides the lawyer fees, trust me, it will be a lawyer of a kind, that will ask for money after closing. If you find one, let me know. But anyway, ask let them show you the paid ZRA fees receipt and the registration fee. Your obligation should be the registration fee only as should be noted out in the contract of sale.   Check with your lawyer to confirm the amount you need to bring to the closing. 

      Insist on having a closing date when all due diligence will have been conducted and ownership will exchange hands in one room with both principals in attendance.  You have to understand, you don't own the property until a deed of title is legally processed and has your name on it.  Contents of this statement and the contract of sale should jive, otherwise you would be short changed. Cutting corners here would mean loss of Benjamins. Avoid the pothole.

6.You close on your property. 

      If you did not deposit the funds in the escrow account, smart move, provide the amount that your is included in the closing statement you’ll need to complete the closing. During the closing, you (and whoever else is buying the property with you) will sign the application forms for deed of title, which will be explained to you by the lawyer.  After your closing process is complete, your lawyer should then file for your deed of title. So, you are not done with your lawyer until you have a clean deed of title delivered to you in your name. 

     At that point, my dear friend,  the property is yours. 

    

Remember at all times that you are the only one who is going to part with cash. All eyes are on you. Even the property sales tax that would be a contractual obligation of the seller to ZRA will ultimately come from your pocket. The more careful you are with the steps the less chances you will have of losing out. Wileka ba kusangule ntonko!

Unless the property has heavy encumbrances, the whole transaction should take no more than 6 months. I have factored in, court proceedings to cure unspecified power of attorneys, if and where applicable.

Avoid the proverbial potholes! 

Welcome to property ownership!

[Mwata Chisha is a member of the National Association of Realtors]  

True Leadership

Natural knowledge - native ability - is superior to paper knowledge.

The superiority of native ability is demonstrated in the manner one processes information. The level of sophistication of one's internal thought process influences the choices one makes and the actions that flow from them. Extendedly, all forms of human interaction in which he or she is involved are guided by what one ultimately accepts as own governing values.

For most people, governing values are developed for them and are adopted without question. In any society, therefore, only a considerably small group of people emerge as true leaders. They don't claim to be leaders but they are called upon to lead. They are like a candle that produces the light which others mirrors reflect.

Superior native leadership is intrinsic rather than extrinsic. Its primary occupation is refining the inner self, front-loading the character, intentionally and thoughtfully on a regular basis, with the clean, the positive and the powerful. Native leadership neither dictates nor dominates. Native ability is not haste. It is contemplative and exudes quiet confidence. Native ability is radiated through conduct; does what is right, based on facts presented, and commonsensical. Native leadership does not teach, rather it educates.

Native ability is not manipulative; it is not compromising either. Native ability is decisive not because it has no fear - but has the fear of losing its purpose.

True leadership produces for own consumption insights, thoughts, ideas and things. Therefore it is sought, not sold, and not imposed.

True Leadership is continually reviewing own experiences, taking in both the good and the bad, and getting enriched by both. True leadership gleans lessons from own experiences and those of others, always refining the self. Native ability dwells on the positive, feeding on abundant universal substrate with intent to become the best one can be, in thoughts and deeds. It is these thoughts and deeds about oneself that makes one a leader; being the the producer of craved unique outputs.

Everything else, but humans, depend on natural knowledge.

TRUE leadership is SELF leadership.

Copyright 2006

I Disagree With Sata, And That Is The Point

Countdown: Sata’s campaigns in Mpulungu

By Lusaka Times on Wednesday 20 October 2010 


PF president Michael Sata has accused the MMD government of causing the death of the late Mpulungu Member of parliament, Lameck Chibombamilimo by neglecting him during his illness. Mr. Sata who is in Mpulungu to drum up support for the party’s candidate Freedom Sikazwe ahead of the October 25, 2010 parliamentary by-election, said President Rupiah Banda hated the late MP even after his death. “Rupiah hated Chibombamilimo, he told MMD cadres that ‘Chibombamilimo is a useless young man, and vowed to sack him as minister and remove him as an MP through a by-election,” Mr. Sata said.

There may be a difference between not liking somebody and hating them. I want to think that Banda may have been right in pointing out that his MP was a useless young man. But Banda did not specify why he felt so. If when he said that, Sata was suggesting that because Banda did not qualify his statement therefore it was reasonable to conclude that Banda hated his MP, then Sata would be guilty of irrational thinking. A rational thinker does not arrive at the conclusion from insufficient information. 

He accused government of delaying Chibombamilimo’s evacuation to India, saying the late MP was treated like an animal because during his illness, government officials did not visit him in Hospital. “When Chibombamilimo finally died the government brought his remains in a coffin, which looked like those in which they bury prisoners. That’s how Rupiah hated Chibombamilimo,” he said.

Two issues here:

• I have not seen a clause in the constitution that deposits the responsibility of caring for sick politicians on the backs of the people. It is not in the budget either. At one time I thought it may be in the budget, you know - tucked in somewhere under some creative allocation - I have checked all budgets dating back to 1992, and all of them contain nothing of the sort. I mean there is not appropriation for "special health care service for politicians."

But what evident is the fact that each time the Budget is approved, it essentially becomes a law. The process of modifying the budget rises to the level of  amending a bill. No organ of the government can do it unilaterally. That being the case, I think it is not irrational for me to suggest that any spending that occurs outside stated parameters, are a contravention of the law and therefore criminal. I expected Sata, who seems to be sympathetic to the squalid status and condition of the regular Zambian, to acknowledge and speak strongly against the criminality in evacuating politicians to foreign health care facilities. But then, he too has a pebble in his shoe. Condemning the act would make him a big hypocrite. Sata, like any other politician, sees this criminal act as an entitlement.

• When poor Zambians fall sick, no politicians makes it an issue unless it is their relative. Yet it is the poor Zambians who pay taxes which provide housing, servants, vehicles with free gasoline, cell phones and talk-time, and innumerable allowances in addition to a hefty monthly salary.

Zambians must begin to call out politicians on this issue; they must stop behaving like they owe these lazy shiftless bureaucrats a debt. It is irrational for a Zambian to clam up when Sata, or any other politician, tells them, in a roundabout way, that they do not deserve first class health care obtainable only outside Zambia.

Does it not make you wonder why no politician has ever run on the issue of making evacuations accessible to all Zambians.       

The outspoken opposition leader also capitalized on the beating of former finance minister at the funeral house by some suspected MMD cadres. He said when PF members went to mourn Chibombamilimo at the house of mourning they were beaten by MMD cadres.

Bushe ama Cadres ni cinama nshi? Are they not the unemployed Zambians of all ages, stampeding for crumbs from the tables of politicians. I am laying this one back on Zambians. Stop supplying manpower to politicians on the cheap. You are being irrational in your thoughts as long as you remain subservient to politicians. Get your power back, make politicians work for you. Why do you settle for poverty in a rich country like ours?

He further accused President Banda of not having the interest of the people of Mpulungu at heart because he was taking developmental projects to Kasaba Bay where he had personal interests. Meanwhile, Sata confirmed that he had been blocked from holding a rally from a named School in Mpulungu because the Head Teacher had allegiance towards the ruling MMD."We wanted to hold a meeting where George Kunda was holding a rally recently but the headmaster said he could not allow us because we are PF,” he said.

This one rises to the top! Politicians, all of you. Listen to me: 

Talusheni ifyongo ku bana! We know you don't send your children to public schools. Mumimwene yenu, as long as it is not your child that is being disturbed, for you it is okay. Well, natwisuke mitwe. Kaneni tumfwe, Is this not your way of growing a stock of kadaz for your children when you hand over the political reigns to them? If you want places to hold meetings/rallies, go ku fibansa fya mangalo. Let schools remain institutions of learning. Yangu!

Mr. Sata complained that his youths were being victimized in Mpulungu for no apparent reason. He said the youths who were arrested for moving with a boat were fined by the Courts.

That not withstanding, the Irrational Thinker of the week Award is conferred upon Mr. Sata. Congratulations for failing to recognize that health care is the most important issue in the lives of Zambians ukulundapo ne ncito. 

The Value of the Life of a Zambian Miner Measured In Chilean Units

ICISAPATO

During their trials and tribulations our forebears devised ways of preserving themselves. When calamity befell them or any member of the their community, they assembled pa nsaka not to lay blame or belittle each other but ukupandashanya amano. For instance when they lost their crop to swarms of locusts, which was more frequent than never, they found out that mulenge, sepa, icifulu, etc., would prevent loss of life. Through consultations and ukwetetula, they discovered that makanta which ate their food was actually edible. They added makanta to ifinshonko ne nyense.

Responding ku cipowe flowing from crop failure or invasion by makanta required sober minds; rational thinkers. Had there been insufficient flow of creative juices in their heads, they would have died of hunger and we would not be here to tell of their triumphs. They were methodical in their approach and surgical in their execution. Specifically, they devised what today's management gurus have termed the ABC's of decision making. Notice how creative they were; they used imisanse to prioritize issues and weight the individual perceptions of urgency applying the following framework:

A: Critical - Life sustaining (must be done)
B: Important - should be done
C: Relatively trivial - could be done

All activities falling under category C were the preserve of ba kalume. All issues of significant importance in category B were done by impalume. Ever heard that never send a boy to do a man's job? Our forebears had it in practice before it was reduced to words on paper. If ba kalume did not do their jobs well, their parents, impalume, scolded them. And when impalume missed a target for whatever reason, they had some serious explanation to do before the elders. It was the responsibility of imiti ya mpako and mpalume to find solutions and outline the modus oparandi for issues falling under category A.

Apparently most managerial concepts that are being repackaged and peddled in seminars all over the industrialized world, we can say with confidence, have their origins in our heritage. To this day, scholars, politicians, and philosophers are continuing to harvest from our rich indigenous cultures very powerful success concepts (Jacks, 2006). At the time Mrs. Hillary Clinton was selling her universal health care proposal, she used insoselo ya kuti, "It takes a village to raise a child." Some people thought she coined the phrase. But that is how some of us were raised; by women who knew that "every child is my child." As a child, you expected that any woman would feed you when you were hungry. Conversely, any woman would pich your cheeks if you acted silly in her presence, just like your mother would. And you knew it.

At another time Dr.Peter Senge popularized the concept of ubuntu, which simply means "ndi muntu pa mulandu wa kuti uli muntu." What a powerful way of acknowledging and valuing each other! Affirming the strength of the spirit of togetherness and actually seeing the good in everyone. People had responsibility to themselves and to each other. And each time impika arose, they all put their arms around it no kuikaulula. Collective action and individual responsibility were an ideal by which everyone lived.

But somewhere between then and now, we lost our sense of self importance. In today's lingo, akuti "ti naitaya." Back then, impika were umwando that bound us together. Today, the same impika are used as excuses for exclusion and factors of divisiveness. Political stripes determine whose voice will be heard and who should clam up.  The voices of Rational thinkers are drowned in the milieu of retrogressive diatribe. Is there a chance that we can recapture or reconstruct our ability to think rationally and live our lives that way? What would it take, really?

Events around the world are a constant reminder of what we have lost. The Chilean mine accident and subsequent rescue operation could not hit more closer to home. It is a well known fact that Chileans and Zambians share a common characteristic. Their economies are based on mining. And one thing one can be sure about regarding mining is that it is prone to accidents. However, the manner in which a nation responds to an accidents defines it's character.

The big world watched with keen interest as Chileans struggled to find the sure-fire method of getting 33 miners from the depth of roughly 700m where they had remained for 68 days. As our forebears would have thought, this is a critical issue calling for swift response. Chilean President Sebastian Pinera understood the gravity of the matter; it was not something a responsible and rational president would commit ku minwe ya mabuta mputi. Lives were in danger. He realized that was something he needed to work on with impalume ne miti yampako, wherever he could find them. So, he na kabungwe, consulted wide, deliberated and ultimately selected an option, among many, that had high probability of success. The operation was surgical; all 33 men were reunited with their families and Pinrea was there to make sure the operation was done according to plan. He hugged everyone of them as they emerged from the cage.

One would have expected Zambian politicians of all stripes to take lessons from the Chilean experience. Chile was not deterred even after being hit by a devastating quake. You can easily speculate somebdoy in the group must have declared, "icalo bantu and if abantu are at risk, we will spare no effort." Because that was a category A situation, they had to abandon everything that weighed relatively less on the list of priorities. Lives had to be saved.

It is not that Zambia has never faced a situation of that nature since the first copper mine, Kansanshi, was commissioned in 1908. Musuku (2005), reported that the first major mining disaster in Zambian history happened in 1940, when 16 miners, 13 indigenous and three 3 whites met their demise in a violent current of air-blast. In the years that followed, a series of minor accidents occurred but the next major one one occurred on September 25, 1970, in which at least 89 underground miners perished from in-rush water and flurries. The Kafironda Explosive disaster, a year later, claimed a significant number of Zambian lives. Recently, 51 people died in the Bgrimm explosion, in Chambishi. In the same space of time six miners perished at Mopani Mine, in Mufulira, when the rollers of the cage got off the rails.

In his conclusion, Musuku suggests that "Zambia needs mining names associated with legendary mining grand master, the likes of Harry Openheimer and Ronald Prain, whose mining legacies still remain hard to match nor to better." I understand what Musuku is trying to say.

I see Musuku's recommendation as being a direct result of loss of confidence in ourselves. A suggestion to call somebody else from outside to solve our problems turns us into Cannot-Do-People. But that is not who we should aspire to. When we are faced with situations that fit the profile of category A issues, as a matter of necessity, we must drop everything we are doing and pay attention to that issue. Find a lasting solution. It is normal to suffer another blow but it is a stupid nation that suffers the same blow twice.

Some incomparable but equally life threatening situations have arisen in Zambia many a times. Where and what were the politicians' responses? President Pinera did not jump on the presidential jet to some worthless function after being informed of the accident. It would have been not only irresponsible of him to do that but also insensitive. He became actively involved in coordinating the efforts, gathering ideas from all sources, consulting with NASA personnel, evaluating the options, etc. No idea was good enough until it was ratified by the president and his team of experts. There was no time for experimentation. Every detail of the operation was analyzed with a microscope and executed with surgical precision until all 33 miners were hoisted to the surface. It was a moment of pride for Chileans everywhere. After hugging the last man, Pinera made a short speech and then led the audience in a spirited anthem.

In that short speech, Pinera promised very radical changes to affect the health and safety of workers in mining as well as the transportation, fishing and construction industries. The areas of concern, once again, are similar to Zambia's.

The only difference is, Zambia has always responded to concerns in these areas with kid gloves. Initial partial privatization of the mines in Zambia, in 1970 and total nationalization in 1980, was meant to bring the rightful owners of the mines into the control room, to keep a watchful eye on the safety of their people. They both did nothing. The latter actually made things worse, managerially. It was followed by a spate of declining production levels, poor forecasts, apparent dysfunctional operations, giving lip service to the importance of health, safety and environmental impacts.

Folks, time for change is upon us. We need to stop trivializing life and life threatening issues. We need to take ourselves serious. Our economy depends on the mines and the safety of miners is category A issue. Because when the miners go underground to work, they are presumed dead as long as they remain under there. By the way the mode of lowering them in a cage, down to underground burrows, in a manner and solemn tradition is similar to lowering a coffin into the grave. This is not something our forebears would assign kuli ba kalume to address. It calls for the attention of imiti ya mpako, ba mpandamano - people whom time has prepared to think and source rational ideas in times of need.

In Chile, the 33 miners were pulled from the bowels of earth. Like babies from the womb of mother earth, they came out one at a time and one after the other. They came to life again.

Zambia reads instructions from the wrong pages of history because she seems to have no solution to recurrent problems of cholera, floods, inadequate  and substandard health care system, unemployment, political violence, street children, and HIV AIDS related diseases. These issues, our forebears would have thought, are category A and are devouring the nation while people who are supposed to find solutions to them are taking jolly rides in the sky. Zambians whose lives were negatively impacted by the Bgrimm explosion were given a mockery of compensation. The government has done absolutely nothing!

Latest
Three Chinese managers shot at protesters at a coal mine in Sinazongwe. Big deal, right? Not in Zambia. Where are imiti yampako? There is a crisis in Sinazongwe and the minister of Home Affairs was in parliament, representing whom? The vice president was in there too! It had to take deputy speaker of the House to compel the duo to go and find out what was happening. Parliament was now giving executive orders, but where was ba mwine mishi? Is this not a case of assigning ba kalume to critical issues?

Zambia Sambilila.     Zambia Sambilila.

Two UNZA problems, One simple solution

The University of Zambia, popularly know as UNZA, faces a disruption of classes and closure almost every year. Of well known causes, student protests precipitated directly or indirectly by political interference ranks highest. Those who were genuinely smart enough to get a spot on the program rosters at UNZA in the late 70s and early 80s, would remember the numerous times when the administration would be worried upon noticing silence in the student community. The UNZA administration would provoke the student by delaying their allowances or cutting back on their meals.

Considering that the majority of students at that time hailed from humble backgrounds, it was easy to show solidarity with the students. Students likened themselves to the downtrodden, the oppressed and the helpless workers or simply the proletariat. And that they needed to rise up and defend themselves against the tyranny of the bourgeoisie. They might have very well been right because, most of them came from the mining townships where their parents bali ni ba Chimbamabwe. They had a short life expectancy; you know ku malaisha, working hard and long awkawrd hours ne ncombolo. Others were sons and daughters of government workers. Now mwaKaunda, unlike nomba, government workers na ba Chimbamabwe earned peanuts. Except the apamwamba, ba Minister, na ba Makobo. These formed the group that Riki Ililonga sang about, Olemekezeka. Of course the track was banned after burning the airwaves for a couple weeks. That is how Kaunda and his unsophisticated shiftless bureaucratic Central Committee ran the show - very personal.

So, anyway, for the most part, students were on the edge. They learned to react to any slight provocation by politicians and the UNZA administration.They would block roads, smash widnshields in anger, overturn cars, and every once in a while burn a vehicle or two.As expected, Kaunda reacted to that kind of behavior with gusto - he curse a few times, 'stupid idiots,' (like there was ever a time when an idiot was not stupid) then he would deploy and a full load of an Ifa truck, armed police clad in riot gear to disperse the crowds. They would fire teargas canisters, mixed in with live bullets, at students and all hell would break loose.

If you really come to think of it, rebellion was not a Zambian practice until the self appointed chancellor of the great University of Zambia, Kaunda, embarked on a crusade to conscientize students, preaching about his newly discovered bombastic terms - Scientific Socialism. You had to know Kaunda as well as I did or better to appreciate how much he believed he was on to something. He literally shoved Sicentific Socialism down the throats of unsuspecting students until they choked on it. I hold him personally responsible for the behavior unbecoming of a learner, bordering on stupidity exhibited by UNZA students. It was not an easy sale. Did you know that UNZA students were required to memorize the Das Kapital like their life depended on it? For those of you who are spring chickens or who resemble them, look it up. Kaunda's communistic philosophies were not an option; they were a law and woe to he who would dare disobey. Very few people could afford to be rational in his day. So much for being THE father of the nation.

But I am not here to hold on to your coattails and drag you down memory lane about Kaunda and his vigilante boys he purposely denied education and enlightenment. Rather, I wanted to set the stage so you would understand the genesis of the kacha of turmoils that has has latched on UNZA like a smudge of umulembwe beta abati pimpo mwefu. The seed of trouble was sown in the Kaunda era, by his hand. Some rational thinking students did put up a fight, though. I will not mention names. But I will tell you that they ended up being expelled from UNZA and subsequently being blacklisted. It meant that they would never get a job in Zambia. Well, as long as Kaunda was president. And he wanted to be there umuyayaya. That is Kaunda for you.

Today's UNZA is relatively calm. The calmness flows from the incident where the police, who were supposed to be maintaining peace, shot and killed one student at Great East Road Campus, in cold blood, the frequency of provocation from both the political and the UNZA administration has since subsided. However, politicians have not gotten smarter. It is like they have nailprints of irrational thinking in the palms of their hands. They behave the same way their predecessors behaved in the 70s and 80s; doing basically the same darnedest things - being irrational with some of the quickest thinkers in the nation. That is what they spend time doing, buffing their thinking wheels. Whether what their minds bake at the end of the day is useful or less than useful is inconsequential.But one can count on the actions of the politico to prostrate naked before the eyes of the students each time they try to outsmart them. Look at this garbage:

Forgo one trip and pay for students, Mumbi Phiri urges Rupiah

By Agness Changala Tue 12 Oct. 2010, 04:00 CAT

PATRIOTIC Front Munali member of parliament Mumbi Phiri has asked President Rupiah Banda to forgo one trip and pay fees for the affected students at the University of Zambia (UNZA).

About 1,132 students have been withdrawn from 2010-2011 academic calendars due to non-payment of tuition fees as required by the 75 percent payment policy.

Phiri said even the money that President Banda used to pay for Amayenge Band to go and dance in Nigeria could have been used to pay for the troubled students and enable them to continue with school. She said among the students who were withdrawn, 38 paid half of their fees and were attending classes.

“So you can see that these students actually complied and some of them have remained with six months to complete. Honestly, how fair is it that one should be withdrawn?” Phiri asked.

“I am speaking as a parent and talking to parents. If that was their son, how would they feel?”

Phiri said some of the students were children to lecturers who retired as far back as 2004 and had not been paid their money, adding that it was not easy for them to pay for their children.

How can all three organs of the government fail to solve the financial problem of our two small universities? The Judiciary would scream, 'hey that is the purview of the Executive and the Legislature!' Well, learned ladies and gentlemen, when an irrational politician says the government this and that, it includes you. You may want to argue that the appropriate term is not government but administration. Well, why don't you make that argument. When will you for once quit being stiff necked and say something in defense of the people? As long as that term is used and you learned men and women in those Halloween-like gowns and, symbol of subservience to the British crown, blonde wigs stand idly by, you are co-conspirators and guilty as charged.


Solution

But seriously, the problems of allowances and unnecessary closures can be resolved permanently by taking the government out of the equation. I mean, all vestiges of the government including the ministry of Education. To them, UNZA should be a no go area. Unjustifiable closures would then become a thing of the past. But first the following has to happen:

1. Make UNZA autonomous;
2. Hire an accounting/management firm to administer bursaries; and
3. Make funding for UNZA cost-based.

The government should add a special expense line in it budget to cover the operating costs of UNZA or better still, all post secondary institutions. Such an addition should be enacted into law and subsequent appropriations made a responsibility of a parliamentary subcommittee.

Upon qualifying to an institution of higher learning, including UNZA, students would be expected to apply for a scholarship to the scholarship/selection committee of a private accounting/management institution. The management entity would lay out terms of eligibility, ratified by the parliamentary subcommittee. The government would not be involved in the day-to-day issues of UNZA, Evelyn Hone, etc. The UNZA administration would know its roles and responsibilities - chief among them to facilitate learning. And students would have one deterministic objective when they get to their various campuses - to learn and build professional networks. The accounting/management entity being private and apolitical, will be paid based on performance - defined simply how well it responds to the issues of the students. In other words, Expediency will be the name of the game for all involved. They will have to be perfect or they lose the contract.

My fellow Zambians, we cannot continue to condemn imiti ikula to the pit of poorly educated citizens. We cannot continue to dance cintako around simple issues like this. It's just unacceptable.

When A Slow Thinking Brain Can Be A LiabilityTo Its Owner

Before my grandpa passed away, in 1966, he said to me, "Man, it was not given to all mortals to think. Even when facts are lined up in front of them, some people don't have the ability to recognize that there is an order to their arrangement."

Since my man passed away, I have put his words to the test. And each time they prove to be true. This brings to mind a saying in my mother tongue that, "Pansaka ta pabula ciwelewele." It is with the realization of the same fact that Hitler managed to hoodwink the weak minded and rode on their backs for a long period, exactly 33 years earlier. Saying you don't know what he did with weak minds is suggesting that you don't know the suffering of Semites at the hands of one of the most vicious dictators in recorded history.

Not too long ago, the governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, got a beating for recognizing Hitler's "ingenuity." His critics argued that the actions of such brutes as Hitler should be pushed to the fringes of human history. Arnold's critics may have had a point. Suggesting that actually in the mix of Hitler's crimes, one ca find a leaflet of lessons, may sound insensitive especially to the Semites, Gypsies, etc. Well, and all people of darker shade, especially myself. But dismissing the fact that there were a multitude of lethargic thinkers, on whose backs Hitler rode to pursue the objectives of the Third Reich is denying the fact that the Holocaust was perpetrated by thousands of people, if not millions, who were at least 6 degrees removed from him.

In a world where some people fail to count empty insupa lined up on the wall in front of them, Hitler managed to mobilized millions of people with slow cranking brains to incinerate people who had done nothing to him. The only crime they were accused of, which in fact they had no hand in shaping, was being of a darker shade. He hated them and he wanted them wiped off the face of this earth. But from an organizing angle alone, Hitler could be thought of as a genius. Hitler is actually said to have had remarked, "Good for leaders that most people don't think." There was nothing genius about what he did. He only recognized the abundance of slow cranking brains Germany and put them to work. Any idiot can do that. All it takes is a little boldness.

Politics aside, Hitler had a point. The same point that my grandpa, who had never seen the inside of a primitive classroom, let alone take a lesson in European history, had made. I will venture to say, however, that lethargic thinking is not a preserve of some Zambians. It is an attribute that one can find in the community of puritans as well.

Therefore, as long as that remains a fact, the world and Zambia in particular, will not be in short supply of individuals who will take refuge in lethargy in thinking.

Enough of philosophizing. As my cab driver once said, "take a straight shot to it." In one of my jaunts on Zambia Online, Dear Mr.President forum, a year or two ago, I encountered many MMD hardliners. One of them used my first name for a handle - Mwata. Whether he knew me or not is inconsequential. He responded to my postings and we locked horns in what ended up being a protracted debate. Did it feel awkward to debate someone who uses your true name for a pseudonym? Absolutely. Sometimes I felt schizophrenic because I was calling another person by my name.

Anyway, it quickly dawned on Mwata that I was neither on his side nor the side of those he despised. That did not deter him from unleashing flurry of his nuclear power packed political punches on me. Each time I exited the forum my mental lips would be split and nose bleeding. I would try to reason with Mwata but he was hellbent on convincing me that sitting on the fence would only expose me to shots from either side. He suggested, his side was safer. He may have had a point, but then that was looking at things only through his prism. Needless to say, debates on ZOL don't get to the conclusion, instead they recede into hibernation only to resurface later. My debate with Mwata was no exception.

Mwata and I got fatigued by the hard punches to our philosophical bodies. We respectfully said our farewells and vowed never to cross paths again.

As fate would have it, I was informed recently that Mwata was defending me in another forum when a bunch of slow cranking brains, in another forum, actually ascribed his postings to me and poured profanity on my name. This was brought to my attention by a colleague of mine who had read the comments on Lusaka Times. Some of these lethargic thinkers even went to an extent of characterizing my article on the Association of Zambians in Atlanta website as below modern first grade standard.Honestly I would like to meet a first grader that would analyze issues better myself after being on earth for only 6 years!

Now, you are thinking Mwata Chisha was upset because he was abused in an episode of mistaken identity. You cannot be farther from the truth. The assault on my person even when the person whose postings argued that he and I were not the same did not bother me at all. I would not give another person the power to hurt me with words. Elenore Roosevelt once said, "No one can hurt you unless you give them permission."

What bothered me in that debate between Mwata, who is not me, and those many Zambians with slow cranking brains is the poverty of thought. Not a single one of them said, wait a minute, 'Just because the poster's name is Mwata, it does not mean it is Mwata Chisha.' Not a single one of them thought about that except the same person who they were arguing with. He told them he was not Mwata Chisha, but they unwittingly continued feeding off each other. Now, one would think, their thinking had been challenged and that an indicator placed in front of their face, they would take a step and connect the dots. No, not them. They dug up stuff on Mwata Chisha and brought them back to the discussion to perpetuate their myth.

I, Mwata Chisha, have my own gig: THIS ONE RIGHT HERE! I don't visit Lusaka Times unless I am told that there was something worth reading; as was the case here. If I wanted to debate issues I would go back to ZOL. Although ZOL is busy, I think the proportion of lethargic thinkers on ZOL is less than that found on Lusaka Times.

What happened was that one overzealous self-righteous partisan misled a whole bunch of supposedly educated Zambians into believing the Mwata of Lusaka Times and Mwata Chisha are one and the same. Sadly, they believed him and without even a word of instruction from him, they started abusing my name.

Doesn't it remind you of the time when you were little and somebody would tell you, "Icimbwi co! And you get all scared, you almost pee in your pants? You would not have even seen a hyena before, for crying out loud. Yet the mention of it puts you on spaghetti legs.  But I can understand that; you were young and gullible. We all go through that. Little brains are imaginative, and trusting. One wonders how such busy minds get tired so early.

Mwata Chisha, here, is not partisan! I am not on the side of politicians. I am on the side of the people.

I lost both my parents and a number of my siblings in the Zambian hospitals, in a short space of time, not because they could not be helped but because this and the previous administrations shared a common element - slow cranking brains. They did not and still don't believe health-care is a priority. They would rather spend money on promoting ideologies, custom tailored suits and heels, physicals in London, and globetrotting, while taxpayers rot in poorly equipped health facilities at home. Only people with slow cranking brains would refuse to make health-care a priority in a nation with a low health profile.

With that much pain in my heart, I cannot possibly be hobnobbing with the administrations which I hold partially responsible for my irreversible losses. I seek no retribution, I want solutions. I want lasting solutions. And singing praises to the administrations, regardless of who is at the helm, is not my style. I started this blog to call attention to the urgency of thinking. Thinking is one chore that most Zambians feel too lethargic to do.

If one slow cranking brain, a mortal to whom it was not given to think, can mislead a considerable number of bloggers at Lusaka Times, it is only fair to speculate that there is a large number of Zambians with significantly slow thinking brains, ingwilabulime, bacitongo, ba cipelelo, ba muselela kwakaba, ba musekela kali kwisaya, intonko. 

It is not healthy!

PS: I was going to bestow upon them the Irrational Thinkers' Award but that is okay. Kuti uleipushe mbwa ngeifwele?

Not Now, Not This Time

I remember when I was little, my mother would pinch the side of my little sauagey thighs when I acted silly, which was often. But sometimes she would only pull my ear as she mumbled something under her breathe. In those days such pinches were popularly known as tu namatanta. The sting of tu namatanta was as bad as that of utushinda beni. Those of you who visited the country side when school was out would know what I am referring to. Then the sting of utushinda beni on your dust covered butt would linger on for a while, reminding you not to sit on the bare ground while wearing short pants with holes in them.

That is the kind of pinch I would like to give Banda and Sata when they convince themselves that they could actually turn the plight of the Zambians into a joke. Banda speaks of obligations. What obligations? Why is it difficult for him to point out what those obligations are? What obligations does his administration have to the poor people of Zambia? Can he come up with a prioritized list of what constitutes obligations?

Never mind his incessant travels and repeated visits to places he has been before, he should try hard to explain how his trips are helping those "obligations."

But just in case Banda cannot remember what obligations the Zambian president has to the people of Zambia, I have highlighted one of the top priorities of his administration's obligations.

When he says irrational things like this, I feel like reaching out from here, ukushempo lupi ulwine lwine. Cilya awe cipense pense, afilwo kulilala, alatusaila fye nga katutwa kapusuka ku lupikiso, I would pull his ear and ..... well, you know, read on....

Sata is silly, says Rupiah
By Patson Chilemba
The Post Tue 05 Oct. 2010, 04:01

MICHAEL Sata is very silly, President Rupiah Banda charged yesterday.

Reacting to Patriotic Front president Sata’s comment that he was now soliciting for international trips in order to raise campaign funds, President Banda dispelled Sata’s assertions.

“But he Sata is very silly. I think it is the first time I have to call him that,” President Banda said shortly before his departure for Chipata at Lusaka City airport. “He hasn’t even phoned me to say sorry about my funeral, which I expect him to do. Traditionally, he should do that. He is a fellow leader and he is my cousin, he should do that. He just has to talk. It looks like he is one of the reporters for the particular newspaper because he has all the time to say something. So let him say whatever he wants to say.”

President Banda said he was recently in Nigeria and met that country’s President Goodluck Jonathan. He said he did not travel out of the country to solicit for campaign funds.

“I am a President. It is so disgraceful for me to solicit for funds. I cannot do that. I have my own country. My own industry is here and everything. I am very proud of you people and I carry your pride with me,” President Banda said. “If he does that himself, let him go ahead and do it, but mine is to attend to our obligations.”

President Banda said he had to attend to obligations, adding that Zambia was a member of the African Union, the Commonwealth, SADC and the United Nations.
He said he did not go for the recently held United Nations General Assembly.

“Last year I didn’t go. He pointing at Vice-President George Kunda went, he went isn’t it? Who went?” President Banda asked as Vice President Kunda responded: “I went to the Commonwealth.”

President Banda said this year, defence minister Dr Kalombo Mwansa was the one who went to the United Nations. He said other Presidents went there also.

“I didn’t go. He doesn’t talk about that because it suits him. He only talks when I go somewhere. Even just going for my funeral, I am sure he will say I am traveling again. But I hope he is human enough to understand that I am a President,” President Banda said. “I have to travel for funerals, for obligations, different obligations which concern all of us here. So I don’t bother much about him anymore. If he had that much power I wouldn’t be traveling by now. But I will continue to carry out my obligations as President as long as I think it is to the benefit of Zambians. I will do it.”

Sata last week observed that President Banda’s trips were fruitless because they had failed to materialise any tangible benefits for the nation. He said President Banda was now soliciting for foreign trips in order to source funds for the 2011 campaigns.

Asked to comment on information minister Ronnie Shikapwasha’s remark that doctors were influenced by opposition politicians to strike, President Banda said he had not read the article in question. He reiterated his earlier statement that the doctors were negotiating with Secretary to the Cabinet Dr Joshua Kanganja and Ministry of Health officials.

President Banda said he wanted to stay out of such matters until it was absolutely necessary.

Let's pause here for a second. When? When are such matters absolutely necessary for you to step in? Ba Banda, SUCH MATTERS ARE IN FACT YOUR OBLIGATION! And you are pushing your obligation to the back burner. 

Remember the Chansa Kabwela case? Ba Banda, you don't mess with people's healthcare. 

Not now. Not this time. 

Not Ever!

Health and safety of the Zambians is numero uno on the prioritized list of obligations of the President of the Republic of Zambia. It is in such matters that you step up to the plate and act presidential. And by the way, keep in mind that Sata is not president. You Are!.

“So what my colleague may have said, or is alleged to have said I have no comment on that,” he said.

On the problems in the PF-UPND pact, President Banda said he did not know about the wrangles in the pact, adding that the matter did not concern him or the MMD.

My final word to you ba Banda: You are carrying the weight of the nation on your shoulders. Everyone is counting on you to be rational in your thoughts and deeds. If you want to play with Sata in the Sand box, call him to the national house. There is a safe and secure backyard large enough for both of you. You can smack each other, slap each other upside the head, bump heads and ukuishina tu namatanta for all we care. But once you come out in public and have cameras and mics pointing at you, Zambians want to hear you show concern about the issues they are grappling with. Tell them what you are doing about their concerns and when help will reach them.

For consistently failing to enumerate and articulate your obligations, Mr.President, by the powers vested in me by my ancestors, I confer upon you the Irrational Thinker Of The Week award, entitling you to all rights and honors appertaining.